Talk to any boss in charge of a work force and there is a good chance they can tell you some pretty funny stories about the kinds of excuses people use to call off from work. While the excuses may be hilarious, the situation for the worker can be serious. Taking unapproved absences from your job can mean you don’t have a job for much longer.

If you plan to take a day off of work, do yourself a favor and pre-plan the day with approval from your supervisor. If you plan to call off with an excuse, just don’t use one of these actual excuses:

I Can’t Make It To Work Today – I’m Still Drunk

You make like to party after work but not if you can’t handle your responsibilities at work.

I Won’t Make My Shift Because I Can’t Find My Shoes

You may have trouble making it from one paycheck to the next but if you only have one pair of shoes, you should re-evaluate your budget.

I Have to Miss Work Because My Car Won’t Start

It happens to the best of us but if you cherish having an income, it is up to you to stop making excuses and have a Plan B when things go wrong.

I Can’t Come to My Job Because I Have Diarrhea So Bad

Even if this were true, your boss does not need the gory details. All you need to say is you are sick. If you plan to be out for more than one day, you’d better have a doctor’s note.

I Won’t Be At Work Today Because I Fell and Broke My Leg

This is perfectly acceptable – if you actually broke your leg. If you should up for work without a cast the next day, you have a lot of explaining to do.

I Can’t Go To Work Because I Have an Interview

Really?

The Voices In My Head Told Me To Stay Home

It is probably not wise to cite mental deficiencies as a bogus excuse to get out of work if you want to have a job.

I Am Afraid to Lose My Parking Space If I Drive Into Work

Again, really?

I Can’t Report for Work Today, My Wife Burned All My Clothing

While you may have lot every suit in that bon fire, it is best to keep your work and personal problems separate.

Sorry I Can’t Come In, My Dog Is Stressed Out

We all love our pets but this one is not going to fly – even for the guy who actually tried to get away with this one.